Middlesbrough Music Live 2010 Line-Up

TFM MAIN STAGE (Centre Square)
The Hoosiers
Example
Daisy Dares You
Fenech Soler
Tiffany Page
I Am Arrows
Kirsty Almeida
Duke
Millionaires
Goldhawks
Young Rebel Set

TEN FEET TALL STAGE (The Empire)
Erol Alkan (Aftershow Party)
Turin Brakes
John Power
Wolf Gang
Wildcats Present: Rum Sodomy & the Lash
Danny & The Champions of the World
Darker My Love
Airship
Babeshadow
Our Secret Sins

EVENING GAZETTE SOUNDS STAGE (Middlesbrough Town Hall)
Professor Green
Freebass
Detroit Social Club
Chapel Club
Frankie & The Heartstrings
Ou Est Le Swimming Pool
Hot Club De Paris
The Crookes
Russell & The Wolves

SUMO ROCK STAGE (Town Hall Courtyard)
The Blackout
Young Guns
My Passion
Sylosis
Millionaires
The Black Spiders
The Flatliners
Futures
The Plight
Lifeless
Hey! Alaska

COSMOS STAGE (Upstairs at The Central)
C.W. Stoneking
Johnny Flynn
Cate le Bon
Sweet Baboo
Nadine Shah
Little Glitches
Woven Project
Cattle & Cane
Leno

HARRY HOUDINI STAGE (Middle Floor of The Empire)
The Chapman Family
Exit Calm
The Neat
The Jessie Road Trip
Gloria Cycles
Retriever
Andy Jones & The Norton Rockets

HOMEGROWN OUTDOOR (Corporation Road)
Be Quiet Shout Loud
Dirty Weekend
Jimmy & The Sounds
Lost State of Dance
Soviet Disco
The Samantha Durnan Band
Sister Rose
Recusant
Red Rabbits

HOMEGROWN CRYPT (Middlesbrough Town Hall Crypt)
Glass Avalanche
We'll All Be Heroes
Exit By Name
Drunk In Hell
About A Plane Crash
British Lichen Society
Black Mountain Poets
Rosa Valle
The Disaster March

THE CENTRAL STAGE
Ginog's County
Ian Race Audio Fayre
Tees Hot Club
Straw Donkey
Temujin

HAIRY LEMON STAGE
Caterina Rea
The Southmartins
The Ska Beats
The White Negroes
The Funktion

World Cup TV Schedule

World Cup TV schedule for the UK (all timesBST)

Date - Time - Match - Broadcaster - Location

Friday, June 11

3pm - South Africa v Mexico - ITV - Johannesburg Soccer City

7.30pm - Uruguay v France - BBC - Cape Town

Saturday, June 12

12.30pm - South Korea v Greece - ITV - Port Elizabeth

3pm - Argentina v Nigeria - BBC - Johannesburg Ellis Park

7.30pm - England v USA - ITV - Rustenburg

Sunday, June 13

12.30pm - Algeria v Slovenia - BBC - Polokwane

3pm - Serbia v Ghana - ITV - Pretoria

7.30pm - Germany v Australia - ITV - Durban

Monday June, 14

12.30pm - Netherlands v Denmark - ITV - Johannesburg Soccer City

3pm Japan v Cameroon - BBC - Bloemfontein

7.30pm - Italy v Paraguay - BBC - Cape Town

Tuesday, June 15

12.30pm - New Zealand v Slovakia - BBC - Rustenburg

3pm - Ivory Coast v Portugal - ITV - Port Elizabeth

7.30pm - Brazil v North Korea - ITV - Johannesburg Ellis Park

Wednesday, June 16

12.30pm - Honduras v Chile - ITV - Nelspruit

3pm - Spain v Switzerland - BBC - Durban

7.30pm - South Africa v Uruguay - BBC - Pretoria

Thursday, June 17

12.30pm - Argentina v South Korea - ITV - Johannesburg Soccer City

3pm - Greece v Nigeria - BBC - Bloemfontein

7.30pm - France v Mexico - BBC - Polkowane

Friday, June 18

12.30pm - Germany v Serbia - BBC - Port Elizabeth

3pm - Slovenia v USA - BBC - Johannesburg Ellis Park

7.30pm - England v Algeria - ITV - Cape Town

Saturday, June 19

12.30pm - Netherlands v Japan - ITV - Durban

3pm - Ghana v Australia - BBC - Rustenburg

7.30pm - Cameroon v Denmark - ITV - Pretoria

Sunday, June 20

12.30pm - Slovakia v Paraguay - BBC - Bloemfontein

3pm - Italy v New Zealand - ITV - Nelspruit

7.30pm - Brazil v Ivory Coast - BBC - Johannesburg Soccer City

Monday, June 21

12.30pm - Portugal v North Korea - BBC - Cape Town

3pm - Chile v Switzerland - BBC - Port Elizabeth

7.30pm - Spain v Honduras - ITV - Johannesburg Ellis Park

Tuesday, June 22

3pm - Mexico v Uruguay - ITV - Rustenburg

3pm - France v South Africa - ITV - Bloemfontein

7.30pm - Nigeria v South Korea - BBC - Durban

7.30pm - Greece v Argentina - BBC - Polkowane

Wednesday, June 23

3pm - Slovenia v England - BBC - Port Elizabeth

3pm - USA v Algeria - BBC - Pretoria

7.30pm - Australia v Serbia - ITV - Nelspruit

7.30pm - Ghana v Germany - ITV - Johannesburg Soccer City

Thursday, June 24

3pm - Slovakia v Italy - ITV - Johannesburg Ellis Park

3pm - Paraguay v New Zealand - ITV - Polokwane

7.30pm - Denmark v Japan - BBC - Rustenburg

7.30pm - Cameroon v Holland - BBC - Cape Town

Friday, June 25

3pm - Portugal v Brazil - BBC - Durban

3pm - North Korea v Ivory Coast - BBC - Nelspruit

7.30pm - Chile v Spain - ITV - Pretoria

7.30pm - Switzerland v Honduras - ITV - Bloemfontein

'Gland Squad.

This morning the provisional England World Cup squad was announced. Big names like Gary Neville, Wes Brown, Phil Jagielka, Joleon Lescott and Bobby Zamora have already missed out, and another 7 names need to be cut from the ranks to make our final World Cup squad.

Needless to say England are in deep shit when it comes to goalkeepers. We have a load of shit ones (Foster, Carson, Robinson, Kirkland, Harper, etc) and then you have these decidedly average at best keepers to take. Out of the three I'd call Hart our best, and James provides a lot of experience which we could actually do with if it ever comes to penalties. If you were to cut one it'd have to be Green, but should we really be cutting a keeper? This isn't a game of Pro Evo where we can leave out our back-up keepers because it is incredibly unlikely our top one will get injured or be sent off - we need those back-up keepers just in case. I'd take all three.

GONE: 0 (None)

LB: Baines, Cole, Warnock
CB: Carragher, Dawson, Feridnand, King, Terry, Upson
RB: Johnson

That is one lonely right back, luckily Carragher has played in that position before. Carragher is quite the choice - he isn't the best he's ever been, but he had a decent second half to the season. Carragher can also provide cover for centre back as well as right back, so I'd say he is an ideal, we just have to pray Glen Johnson never gets injured. As for everyone else, I'd say it'd be sensible to take a back up for every position, so 8 defenders preferably, or maybe 7 with Carragher's inclusion (he'd have to be a back up for centre back and right back). That said, Warnock is gone, no arguments. In centre back, Dawson, King and Upson? All are expendable to me, but Dawson is ... well ... wank, so bye. Upson however hasn't been doing well lately so he'd be the second CB cut if it was ever needed (at lease he has experience).

GONE: 2 (Dawson and Warnock)

RM: Lennon, Walcott, SWP

CM: Barry, Carrick, Gerrard, Huddlestone, Lampard, Parker

LM: Cole, Johnson

EVERYTHING: Milner

There is a lot of fat to trim in England's midfield. Our first dilemma though is what are we going to do with Gerrard and Lampard? In the past it has been solved by moving Gerrard to the wing, problem here is we already have 3 right wing players, and that is Milner's area as well. Milner, I feel, is vital for us at this point so he stays. Walcott, though inconsistent, can be very important as he can cut into the position of striker effortlessly - if we don't take Walcott we have to take all 5 strikers, but I'd keep him were he is. Lennon and SWP ... sorry guys. As much as I love SWP, and he is a proven goalscorer, I don't see much use for him, and I see even less for Lennon. The left wing is pretty untouchable, not due to quality, but because we really don't have anyone else that can play there, unless you want Lampard to go there as he has a strong left-foot. From centre I'd cut another two out of Barry, Carrick, Huddlestone and Parker, and sadly Huddlestone and Parker are players I see no use for. Unless Barry's injury lasts longer than we think.

GONE: 4 (Huddlestone, Lennon, Parker and SWP)

This is interesting. It'd be nice to take all the strikers, it really would, but we can't. Heskey gets lots of stick, but people ignore that he isn't in the England squad to score goals, he is there to bully the defenders in order to open windows for the midfielders and the other striker. Crouch does this as well, plus he has the scoring record, so I'd take him over Heskey, but for the second team you need him anyway. If you've done the math you know I only need to cut one more guy (unless you were to cut Walcott), so either Defoe or Bent? Both have the same weakness: they can only score when the team plays to their style, and that simply doesn't cut it in the England squad. This choice comes down to one factor then, and that is experience, which Bent has little of. The World Cup is not a place to test the waters, and Bent is completely untested, so sorry Sunderland fans, he is cut in favour of Defoe.

GONE: 1 (Bent)

TOTAL GONE: 7 (Bent, Dawson, Huddlestone, Lennon, Parker, SWP and Warnock)

All in all, my Starting XI would look like this:

Hart

Johnson - Terry - Ferdinand - A. Cole

Gerrard -- Milner - Lampard -- J.Cole

Rooney --- Crouch

A Triplet of Movie Reviews

44 Inch Chest

Without ever being too bad it remains entirely underwhelming as a film. Ray Winstone is a master of the general character he plays in all his films, and combined with the rest of the cast you have some decent-great acting with a script that is quite well written. Why is it disappointing then? Because it may as well be one extended scene. This story is simply in the wrong medium; put it on a stage and I am sure it would be quite the hit.

Four Lions

The subject matter makes this the blackest of black comedies, but this film stands as one that is entirely funny, silly, and quotable. Everyone must tip their hat to Chris Morris because I simply cannot see how this film could have been any better. It was approached and presented in exactly the right way to decentertise us to what was going on, but only within the context of the film – no one watching that film is condoning a jihad, they want it mocked, but the characters are so good they forget the film is mocking jihadists in the first place. The result of the underlining genius is a feature so funny it was stomach-cramp inducing. This is my favourite film of the year so far.

Kick-Ass

Ignoring the “controversy” one certain dickhead and his paper created, this was a really good film. I’ve never been one to complain about something not being 100% loyal to the source material (Watchmen and Fantastic Mr. Fox for example) so for me this was a very good satirisation of the comic book superhero and a delightfully funny teenage-angst movie, and a explicitly colourful action film. A must see for fans of the genre and a heavy recommendation for everyone else – only if you are of age though. We don’t want to glorify violence or sexualise children now, do we?

Why you shouldn't vote BNP ...

The General Election is just a couple of days away and I hope you’ve decided on who you are voting for. I’m not here to push my views onto people, but there are a few issues I want to raise. Well, one view – DO NOT vote BNP.

You might be lucky enough to be in a constituency where they are not represented, but my former home of Stockton South does have a candidate and I am currently reading his hand-out, and it is a load of shit. Let me take you through it.

Neil Sinclair starts his dirtsheet with a little introduction to himself, which I am going to quote directly:

“I was a Labour voter for over 30 years but became disillusioned by the policies of Blair + Brown and their open door policy on immigration and forced multi-culturism, only the BNP can stand up to this nonsensical and out of hand political correctness, my other concerns are, the state of the NHS, crime + anti-social behaviour, and the threat of terrorism, our political leaders seem hell-bent on destroying everything we hold dear, at every turn the true British citizen is faced with discrimination, ridicule, and even persecution, what future will there be for our children + grandchildren ?.”

One sentence ladies and gentlemen. Would you really vote for someone who can’t string a proper sentence together? Not to mention cannot spell for shit (my apologies Mr Sincalir, Microsoft Word auto-corrected a number of your mistakes), cannot use grammar properly, + cannot be arsed to type “and” half the time. For all of BNP’s nonsense about being British they can’t even use the language.

The A4 sheet of paper then lists the BNP’s “policies”, all of which are justified by fear-mongering, lies and outright stupidity. Let me take your through:

Immigration: According to the BNP, 98.5% of job vacancies go to immigrants. Did you know 96.8% of statistics are made up? Come on; if you believe that clearly made up number you don’t deserve a vote. They also say Britain’s population with grow to 74 million in 20 years, but they say this is because of immigration – wrong, it is actually due to the ever increasing birth rate and it is a worldwide problem. They close the paragraph with “the British with be an ethnic minority in ... only 60 years” ... “British” is not an ethnicity; it is a nationality, once again proving the BNP cannot use the English language. In this section though not a single policy is mentioned, because honestly, do you really think the BNP have any idea how they would handle immigration? They don’t even understand the process.

Crime: The BNP falsely claim that 20% of the prison population are illegal immigrants. In actuality, 84% of the prison population for males are white British nationals, and 11% are black British nationals (http://www.statistics.gov.uk/STATBASE/ssdataset.asp?vlnk=7363). The Ministry of Justice also reports that the majority of criminals for violent or drug related crime are working class white males. The BNP also promise to restore capital punishment, despite the fact that places that use capital punishment have a much higher crime rate than places that don’t.

Afghanistan: Their policies in relation to this show their ignorance. They argue that “human rights” is not good enough reason to justify it, despite both World Wars being fought because of human rights violations. They also ambitiously promise to bring our troops home “NOW”, despite it, you know, being impossible and all that jazz.

NHS: This paragraph is a selection of statistics, no solution is offered, once against showing the BNP are clueless to the issue.

Education: “most 5 + 6 year olds can’t write their own name”, “40% of children are incapable of proper reading + arithmetic at age 11” – both of these are lies as figures released by a number of independent organisations show British children are getting smarter year-by-year. Plus, Neil Sinclair can’t even write properly and he wants to tell you how education should be done? He also wants to “restore discipline”, despite that being directly related to misbehaviour among children.

Christian Heritage: As an atheist, this policy infuriates me. To summarise, the BNP want to force what they call “traditional western values” onto children, violating human rights laws. They quote the former Archbishop of Canterbury who said how bad Sharia laws are, yet they fail to mention that the current Archbishop of Canterbury advised the use of Sharia law in this country. They strangely also forget to mention the current controversy over Paedophiles in the Catholic Church, funny that.

Smoking: Yes, this is an issue for them. They call Parliament “HYPOCRITES.!!” for banning smoking in pubs, despite it now being European Law and a law that is being implemented all across the world because of its dangerous link to cancer and other health problems. The BNP, apparently, wants you to die earlier.

European Union: In a demonstration of massive stupidity the BNP will pull out of the EU, in light of the massive economic benefits being members of the EU entails. Sinclair talks about restoring “Britain’s freedom”, forgetting of course that Britain is subject to international law regardless of what Union we are a member of, and that the European-wide law we subscribe to has no negative effect on our freedoms. Of course the BNP is going to be anti-European, because under European law half of their policies would be ILLEGAL – but guess what? Europe on no Europe, the United Nations will have something to say about various BNP policies.

“Policies”, by the way, that are not mentioned here. Policies like removing art and social science courses from Universities. This means no English Degrees, no Politics Degrees, no Law Degrees, no Drama Degrees, no Music Degrees, and no History Degrees ... only Science Degrees.

How about increasing military spending, making national service compulsory? They also want to allow an American-style “right to bear arms” law, or to quote them directly, “men should keep a rifle and ammunition in their homes”.

The BNP want to reduce the amount of aid Britain gives. You might agree with this is you are a selfish arsehole.

Also, seeing as we live in the 21^st century, the BNP want to make homosexual relationships and mixed-race relationships illegal.

Need I say more?