Pokeclipse ... and why I love the internet.

I strongly suggest you go to this forum: http://z9.invisionfree.com/Pokeclipse/index.php

I am a little late to the party, but to describe it in limited words it is a community of people who believe that Pokemon are real. No, I'm not kidding.

It is just one example in a long-line of secular beliefs and opinions that we would never stumble upon while in our communities, no matter how closed or broad. People who believe in Pokemon will have no one else to talk to about their beliefs without being ridiculed (socially of course, I don't think they'll be a witch hunt over it), and this forum is (or was, it closed in 2008) their only outlet. It introduces one to a whole knew world of stupid logic and it is amazing.

The majority of the members, as expected, are somewhat delusional, as I illustrate below:

I was out with some "friends" of mine today, and we were in the library. Well out of boredom, I decided to check this website to see if there had been any development or information on real life Pokemon and other things.

Well, my friends with their keen eyes saw the banner "Pokeclipse: Real Pokemon Believers". They proceeded with laughing at it and saying "Who the hell believes in Pokemon? Seriously, where did you find this website".

I turned around and said "I believe in Pokemon, we have bare facts which prove they exist and we have almost found a way itno their world or atleast found a way to know they are real!". They paused, and then started laughing at me, calling me gay and told me to stop joking.

I bought up some threads and explained it to them, and told them that they are idiots for laughing. I grabbed my bag and left as they looked at eachother in silence.

Did I own them? I'm also nervous to see them tommorow, so I'm wondering what I should say to them. Seriously, these people annoy me when they laugh at our beliefs when we have the truth infront of us.

Yes, you sure PWN'd them. I think they are the ones that need to worry about school tomorrow. Oh wait, NO! PLEASE! DON'T PWN ME AS WELL WITH YOUR TRUTH!

The majority of you who come in here and try to refute us, your only argument is "Pokemon aren't real because I can't see them, I've never seen them, and probably never will see them."

Sorry to say this, but you are only one out of over 16 billion people on this planet, and just because you haven't experienced something, doesn't mean that's how it is. You can't see love, you can't see hate, and you can't see evil or good. You probably will never see them in your entire life, but do they exist? In my experiences as a human being, they do, and they are very real.

According to you, we're all childish and are chasing imaginative figures that can never be. At the same time, I can reverse those claims onto you.

How can you justify that what *you* belief to be true is real? Anything you believe in at all, how can you prove to a person who has never seen a car that it exists? Show them pictures? Easily forged.

Bring others who also share the experience? Opinions can be easily tampered with.

It's something you have to experience, it's impossible to simply explain to others. I could sit here for years, and you can reject our ideas for years. But in the end, there's no denying the real truth.

For us, Pokemon are very real. More real than you can ever imagine. We KNOW they are out there, and they know that we are here. There have been signs, but they can only be seen by those who look for them. We're not doing you any harm in seeking, so why go out of your way to question us? We don't question your inane beliefs.

Okay, I won't question your beliefs, but what proof do you have really?

For me the similarity of the Pokemon regions to regions of Japan is undeniable proof that the Pokemon world is one parallel to our own.

 Damn, I spoke too soon.

 I can't help but feel we are ruining it for these guys. In one thread, one guy rightly questions our scientists with something we've all been thinking but have never had the guys to say.

why are govermant scientists wasting resourses on incurable things like cancer when we need pokeball technology???

A true human rights issue right here. The Government may as well be culling our Pokemon when they aren't even trying to introduce a medium we, the people, can utilise to catch and train the creatures. Elsewhere, more small time Pokemon activists comes forward with his dilemma, and this time it is WE that are ruining his Pokemon journey.

I'm trying to find a Sandshrew in the local park. It kind of sucks trying to do it because the only net I have is this old fishing net and I don't think i'm fast enough to catch one even if I find it. Plus, the park closes at like 9 every night (so STUPID, what if there are nocturnal Sandshrews around???) and there are too many people around the park, so they're scaring Sandshrew and any other pokemon that might be in the park away.

 We are such bastards. Everyone out of the park RIGHT NOW!

Two threads really stick out to me as beyond amazing. Take a look for yourself:
Is Jesus a Pokemon?
Will you marry your Pokemon?

Read both of them. I promise you that you won't be disappointed.

If you read and come across a post saying the forum was a joke, that could possibly be true. However, take note that in the couple of weeks they had so much attention from GameFAQs (who hacked in) and other sites they had disabled and enabled registration over and over again, they banned guys who spoke against their beliefs, and there are various mentions of previous communities. Seems like way too much effort for a joke.

I will leave you with a few gems.

During a discussion about Super Smash Bros Melee/Brawl:

I actually main as Snake. I had never heard about him before, but he was Snake and Steelix is a snake sort of so he was the first one I picked. I guess he was in a bunch of other games but I never played them.

 No one tell him Pikachu is available on those games.

They hate Wikipedia:

I gathered the courage to go to school yesterday, I can't run away forever. All was going well until third period, the class with the two moronic non-believers. 

I walked into the class and.. AURGH, NO OTHER SEATS OTHER THAN THE ONES NEXT TO THEM TWO. I walked over and sat with them and it was pretty much silence for atleast 5 minutes.

One of them suddenly gathered the courage to say "I can't believe you ACTUALLY believe in Pokemon.. You're gay". GRRRR.. THEY HAVE NOT LEARNED!! My response: "I'm quite sure about my sexuality to know that I am not gay, thank you very much. And as for my beliefs, I feel it's none of your business with what I should feel is the truth and what isn't".

The other one stepped in "Well, we have proof Pokemon isn't real". I was shocked! They decided to research this! My response: "Haha, we at the Pokeclipse community have proven many people like you wrong, so come on, try to sound smart and say Pokemon isn't real with your 'research'". 

He got some paper out and started reading from it:

"Pokémon is a media franchise owned by video game giant Nintendo and created by Satoshi Tajiri around 1995. Originally released as a pair of interlinkable Game Boy role-playing video games, Pokémon has since become the second most successful and lucrative video game-based media franchise in the world, behind only Nintendo's Mario series". 

HOLD ON A MINUTE! WHAT THE ****?!!! 

I stood up and slammed my hands on the desk "YOU GOT THAT FROM WIKIPEDIA.. YOU IDIOT". The idiot was in shock for a second and then responded: "Yeah.. So?". "Well WHAT PROOF IS THAT? YOU'VE COPIED SOMETHING FROM A WEBSITE, I FAIL TO SEE HOW THIS PROVES US AT POKECLIPSE WRONG" I shouted.. The class went quiet. He responded "I'm proving to you that Pokemon is made by Nintendo and was made by someone. Therefore it cannot be real".

Oh dear.. Oh dear... My anger was rising and I really wanted to punch this non-believer in the face. I had to keep my cool to look good, so I said

"Oh you silly boy.. For a start, you copied that from Wikipedia, one of the most unreliable sources on the internet. And, Nintendo has a portal of some sorts to get into the Pokemon universe, meaning they could have got the idea from that universe and marketed it to younger audiences. You're blinded by stupidity".

His response:"...Yeah, but it's not real". I rest my case. I sat down, and here's where it all starts to get bad. Everyone had heard us, and I suddenly became the laughing stock of the class. People were calling me gay and now the WHOLE school knows I believe in Pokemon. I can't believe this is happening... Why are people so stupid. Pokemon are real, if only they would open their eyes..

 And finally, something that makes me ashamed to be an Atheist:

Hard to say, I'm an atheist. I only believe in realistic things with good proof (like pokemon !)

Best Album Cover Ever?

A Few Tracks

Give these a listen guys, tell me what you think:

"Going For Bronze" by Joey Cape


"Albatross" by The Besnard Lakes


"Sons and Daughters" by Have Gun, Will Travel

"This Addiction" by Alkaline Trio

"Sunburn" by Owl City


"Ambling Alp" by Yeasayer


"Won't Go Quietly" by Example


"Working Bee" by Motion City Soundtrack

"Modern Drift" by Efterklanf



Happy Listening!

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves [Review, PS3]

When I bought my PS3 last June, finally entering the next-gen console club, I was somewhat hesitant. I've never been that into games, so what if this turned out to be a waste of money? I guess now I don't have to worry.

Naughty Dog (makers of Crash Bandicoot - and you can sort of tell) did everything they possibly could to make Uncharted 2 is an absolutely addictive game. A heart-pumping mix of platform gaming, free running, adventure, fantasy, puzzle and third-person shooting makes for a long and interesting story filled with turns that proves never to be boring.

The mechanics of Among Thieves border on brilliant. If I was to write another review for Assassin's Creed (2), in which I will of course tell you everything that is wrong with the game, I would probably conclude with "See Uncharted 2 for how it is done." If one was to play without stalling, or looking for treasure, the main character (Drake) would move quickly and smoothly along the sublime scenes in the game. If you slow down you can periodically leap from one obstacle to the next like Indiana Jones' gymnast cousin. You would have to slow down at some point, as some of the puzzles do catch you out if you aren't observant - I died so many times because I was too busy admiring the scenery that I didn't realise I jumping into a flat wall with nothing to hold on to.

As I've already touched on the scenery, the graphics in Uncharted 2 are beautiful. The levels that take place in  Nepal leads you from the war-stricken streets up to the rooftops with a backdrop so fantastic that you want to leap off the building just to see if you can land on one of the others. Other spectacular views include the mountains of Tibet and the mythical Shambala. The visuals also strut their stuff in levels where Drake must jump from car to car, runs on the roof of a train or solve puzzles from great heights.

The cut-scenes and general plot of the game is also something the developers should be proud of. From the very beginning I was hooked to the story and intrigued by the character I was playing as. As the game advanced I was met with plot-twist after plot-twist that added to what went from a fairly simple treasure hunting storyline to a deep and historical narrative that wasn't too complicated yet was clearly well thought out and researched. As well as this the characters all had their backstories and their clear cut purposes, meaning aside from the faceless goons you kill on a level-by-level basis no one leaves you cold.

A very fun part of the game is the combat in all its forms. Some people like third-person shooting and some don't, but in this game it is so simple I don't think anyone can complain. On top of this the fist fighting dynamics are neat and enjoyable, stealth kills are crazy fun, and environmental kills such as pulling one of the bad guys over the ledge you are hanging from or pushing another one off a cliff makes you smile (in a sort of sick way).

As well as all of these features you have things to do once you've completed the game. The online multiplayer is unique and so much fun you'll waste hours and hours on it at a time. The game also allows you to replay the story with some in-game hacks, such as unlimited ammo, one-hit kills, and the most fun, a No Gravity setting which sends each enemy you kill floating into the air. You can also get a fat version of Drake, which is a gift that keeps on giving: seeing a fat guy jump from wall to wall.

Overall, this game is a must buy for anyone with a PS3. I cannot recommend it enough. My personal favourite game since I first bought the console.

The Hunt For Gollum [Review]

The Hunt For Gollum is an Independent fan-made Lord of the Rings film that was written, produced and directed by Chris Bouchard. I am sure that "fan-made" is the thing that jumped out at you in that sentence, but I urge you not to dismiss this movie based solely on that. Even if you watch it and dislike it you will certainly agree that, as far as fan-made films go, this is one of the best - and I'm not talking exclusively about LOTR fan-films either. 


The short film (just over half an hour in length) was shot on HD cameras and on a budget of £3000 and has been distributed for free through the internet. I assume this was to avoid legal issues, as I don't believe you can be sued for using intellectual property if you aren't profiting from it, though I also believe there was some back-door agreement between Chris Bouchard and J.R.R. Tolkien's estate. Over 160 people volunteered to work as actors and crew for this film. 


To get into the meat of the film, stylistically I don't think they could have did any better. Chris Bouchard was very intelligent with his choice of shots, angles and effects as he used them to his advantage. He made the scenery of the film look as good as similar settings in the actual LOTR films (such as inside a forest) while avoiding trying to go for sublime shots of huge canyon faces and the like. He was also smart in how he used Gollum; we only see him from a distance, or from extreme close up, up until the end when we get a CGI version of his face which did resemble Gollum but obviously was not to the quality of Andy Serkis. Speaking of which, some of the characters, especially Aragorn, do look like there counterparts in the official films.


The film is really about what you'd think. Gandalf approaches Aragorn in a tavern and asks him to track down Gollum, as it is feared that if the orcs capture him he will end up confessing the whereabouts of the One Ring (or rather, who currently holds the ring). 


The pace of the film is very good. It benefits from really not having a lot to fit into the 30+ minutes so it isn't rushed, but it isn't stretched out either. This factor partners with the even balance of action and slower scenes to make a film with the correct ratio to my personal tastes, which I can only say about one of the official LOTRs films. 


Throw into the mix some not-so-subtle shouts to the films, such as Gollum fishing and an orc announcing that he is craving for some fresh meat, and you have all you really need from this film. 


I'm not going to say this is essential viewing, because it isn't, but if you're a fan of Lord of the Rings I think you will enjoy this short film as well as I did. It will also, if you haven't watched LOTR in a while, get you back into the Tolkien-verse ready for The Hobbit when it comes out this year.


If you want to watch it, it is available here for free on the official website.

Top 10 Films of 2009

Below I am detailing in limited detail my Top 10 movies of the year. I wanted to include The Wrestler and a few others, because they were released in the UK in 2009, but I’ve left them out for the sake of the top ten.

10. Zombieland

I know people that would say this was the film of the year, and it was the best zombie movie ever. For me, Shaun of the Dead is the best, and I made the mistake of going into this zom-rom-com (which it is) thinking it was trying to be SotD, but it really isn’t. It is less deadpan, more American, and it is fun. Throw in a cameo by Bill Murray and a few mad zombie kills and you have a really enjoyable movie. It should consider itself lucky to beat Adventureland into the top ten, because while I did enjoy this movie more, I had more of an emotional connection to the characters in Adventureland than this, where the characters were pretty flat.

9. Bronson

There is very little I can say about this film. It is technically very well done. Tom Hardy puts in an amazing performance as Charles Bronson. There is nothing really wrong with this film, but aside from the lead acting it doesn’t really jump out at me as anything amazing. It is well worth the watch.

8. I Love You, Man

Why did no one seem to watch/like this film? It was brilliant. The on-screen chemistry of Paul Rudd and Jason Segal cannot be denied. The movie’s biggest asset is its very simple idea that is crafted phenomenally into this hilarious film. Ideally, you must have an acting, developing or recent bromantic relationship to really understand the premise.

7. District 9

I loved this movie’s concept, its angle, its script, everything ... but the camera was way too shaky. So shaky in fact that it distracted me from this great film. It is such a unique and creative film; everyone should tip their hats to the imagination of the film makers. Anyone who is not impressed by it is missing something. Look at the many layers this story has. It begins with the overtone of immigration (aliens to South Africa) and turns into a dark comedy as the aliens’ rights are abused (come on, if you don’t find an alien being called ‘Christopher Johnson’ funny you should have your head checked). Then you get to the emotionally wrenching moments that are done so convincingly. Watch it, because I know a lot of people haven’t.

6. Watchmen

Having not read the graphic novel I did not have a single complaint about this movie aside from it being a little long. Some have complained that it didn’t stay entirely loyal, but haven’t looked at the graphic novel since it did remain loyal, except it didn’t have the comic book kid (well it did, but they were cut, watched the longer version of the film), and the ending has the cities being destroyed not by Dr Manhattan’s energy signature, but by a GIANT SPACE OCTOPUS! Which, let’s be honest, sounds retarded. I’m glad they made those few changes, because this film was fun, exciting and cool as out.

5. (500) Days of Summer

This film made me care about Joseph Gordon-Levitt and hate Zooey Deschanel (HOW DARE she do that to him!). This romantic comedy is not like other romantic comedies. It was completely honest and realistic about relationships and that was very refreshing to me. The humour was clever and subtle, which I do love on a level I cannot explain. I only wish that every time I have sex I can go out onto the street and fantasies a song and dance parade too. Who needs Hugh F’N Grant?

4. Up

Pixar are a mile ahead of every other animation studio. With this beautiful film they have, once again, taken a very lovely idea and turned it into this slick and smooth film that appeals to kids and adults. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry. This was not a surprise though; I’ve loved most of Pixar’s films and liked the rest aside from Cars, which I didn’t dislike at all. This I would rank below Toy Story and Wall-E as my favourite Pixar film.

3. Star Trek

I was not a fan of Star Trek, but I’ve never really been a fan of sci-fi. I always considered you a bit of a wanker if you actually joined the debate of Star Trek vs Star Wars by taking one side and refusing to accept the other. This film though was brilliant, and if you haven’t watched this or just chose not to like it just because you like Star Wars then you’re a dick. The brilliance of this film comes from the director, JJ Abrams, who made this movie with an early explanation to make everyone happy. It may not follow the Star Trek mythology to the last detail, but that is because the universe in which it takes place is different, and I don’t want to spoil it with detail. It is great in every area.

2. Fantastic Mr. Fox

Okay, I don’t normally do this, but for this I make an exception ... this is the best animated movie I have ever seen. Yes, it even beat Toy Story, which I thought wouldn’t be overtaken ever. Americanisation can suck on it, because there is nothing at all offensive. It has taken the fairly short (classic) book by Roald Dahl and expanded it with a little bit at the beginning and a tiny bit at the end, with everything else being in the booking. The animation works so well for this film, and I don’t want to refer to stop-frame as ‘simple’, but what we see on the screen in the finished product just works so amazing well because it looks very simple. More than this, it is funny in the very best way: clean, harmless, family friendly, but still laugh out loud funny. Like Up there is something here for everyone.

1. Inglorious Basterds

No offence, but it is here by a mile. Words cannot describe how much I love this film. As a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino, I can say with great confidence that this is his masterpiece (reference to the movie intended, very intended). People can complain all they want about Brad Pitt not being used a lot, but this film was never about it, Aldo Raine isn’t the main character really, Shosanna Dreyfus is. Complain about the historical inaccuracies too, because that is just a reason why you will never enjoy anything like most people enjoyed this film. The script is next to perfect with a very odd but delightful blend of awkwardness, cunning witism, and subtle humour – and those are what I consider three sides of this films square, the fourth being the violence. While I’m at it, best opening to a movie ever, Hans Landa will go down as one of my favourite villains of all time, and Teddy Fucking Ballgame was not as annoying as others have said. Also, props to Tarantino for being so brave to use a mainly German cast. Excellence.

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I hope you enjoyed that.

New Year, New Blog

I had Walker's THIS, but it wasn't as good as THAT (which is this). Yeah, I've confused myself. The real reason is walkthis and walkersthis were taken. Barrowman!

Coming soon (meaning next few days) on this blog will be my Top 10 (maybe 15 because I have a couple of movies still to watch).

Who knows what will happen afterwards.